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Compassion International Columbia

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To whom it may concern:

We send annual fund solicitations to rural families in Africa on a regular basis, with each focusing on a different way these gifts support our students. For your information and not for publication (because of student privacy concerns), I have attached the last three solicitations, which you’ll see focus directly on public interest themes. For example, we have highlighted new ways you could support us, including selling a small ox or forgoing a 2 week supply of UN-sponsored humanitarian aid.

A donor and her child diligently milking a cow and gathering chickens to help sponsor a Columbia child at our Early Interview Program.

EIP is just one of many programs that help our disadvantaged students. While the majority of employers are from the private sector, we also host government agencies and not-for-profits at EIP and throughout the year.

While most of the direct cost of the hotel used for EIP is absorbed by the organizations that attend, the main cost to the school for these interviews includes paying a full-time counseling staff whose advice mainly consists of “don’t dress like a skank” and “just be yourself”. With your continued support, we will continue to hold panels that discuss our meaningless placement statistics and push jobless students towards internships that inflate our employment statistics. Our dedicated staff in the Career Services Office spend many hours “Makin’ it Rain” with fellow administrators, every time we receive $51,080 in yearly tuition from unsuspecting students.

As you can see by these fancy charts, our operations run so efficiently that we cannot simply cut costs to give a student a chance at a dream job. Without your generous support, most of our students would lose this chance.

We highlighted EIP in this email to show that annual fund gifts, among many other resources, are being applied to support our students in their job searches. We all know that the job market is not the same as it was five years ago, and believe your sacrifice of only 455 days of wages will more than help our students begin their careers in whatever field they may choose. We think this is a worthwhile cause and we believe that by perhaps forgoing the elementary school education of your youngest child, you can help support a law student to his dream job.

Sponsor a child directly!

Hunter is just one of many you can sponsor with your kindness and generosity

J. Hunter Windsor IV
Birthday: October 23, 1988
 New York, USA
Columbia Law School

Hunter is one of our many underprivileged Columbia students. Amazingly, he decided on law school after he read a few John Grisham novels. His living conditions are horrendous as he must live many miles away from his family in a crowded urban apartment much smaller and dirtier than his family’s homes in Greenwich, Martha’s Vineyard and Aspen.

As part of Columbia’s outreach, Hunter participates in many law-school centered activities including serving diligently as the President of the FratSoc board. Sailing and beer pong are his two favorite activities.

Because of your sponsorship, Hunter will have even greater opportunities to become the insufferably privileged prick his beloved WASPY parents so desired him to be. Thank you for your generous thoughts and donation.


Props to Jhan for the artwork.


Written by legallynonfiction

February 18, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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